The 27 steps to feeding a greyhound breakfast

"The 27 steps to feeding a greyhound (second breakfast)" or
"27 Reasons Why I'm Late for Work"

Note: Due to Lisa's writing-induced condition I have forbidden her from blogging for at least one more day. ; ) She has had a relapse of Book-Brain Syndrome again...She told me we were going to have wine with fried fish for dinner. Then after dinner we would take a glass of fish and get in the jacuzzi. I preferred taking the wine.

Prologue:

Mornings are chaotic around our house. Lisa gets up first and feeds the cats. She has to watch over them, because Boris (remember Boris?) will eat Natasha's (remember Natasha?) food. So, when Lisa has deemed the cats through, she takes the dogs out; brings them in and feeds them. Lucy (the Jack Russell) is not persnickety about her food (usually). Gracie is. Very persnickety. So after Lisa leaves for work, it's up to me to give Gracie the rest of her breakfast. This is how it went Friday morning:

Gracie eats her breakfast.

1. I put her bowl down.
2. She sniffed it.
3. She took a mouth full to her bed, dropping kibble along the way (apparently so she can find her way back).
4. I picked up her bowl.
5. She came back.
6. I put down her bowl.
7. She ate a few bites.
8. She left.
9. I picked up the bowl.
10. She walked around the kitchen island.
11. She came back.
12. I put down her bowl.
13. She ate five bites.
14. She stopped to swallow.
15. She sniffed the closet door.
16. She looked at me (for reassurance no doubt).
17. She ate five more bites.
18. She paused.
19. She sniffed her food (obviously to make sure it was the same food).
20. She ate some more.
21. She paused.
22. Repeat steps 19 & 20.
23. Repeat steps 19 & 20.
24. Repeat steps 19 & 20.
25. Repeat steps 19 & 20.
26. Repeat steps 19 & 20.
27. She finished.

"Excuse me. Human Resources? Yeah, how do I put down "Feeding Dog" on my time sheet?"

Derek Shearin, Arm Candy...etc...