Editorial Feedback (Part IV) -- Make the reader care

Now on to today's blog which continues with my editor's feedback/suggestions on Magic Lost, Trouble Found. See Monday's blog for how my editor and agent's suggestions helped me cut about 100 pages from my original manuscript. And Tuesday for how to manage minor characters to minimize reader confusion. And yesterday's topic was character crowd control.

Today's topic is "Make the reader care."

For those of you who have read the outtakes from In Magic Lost, Trouble Found (see the "Interviews" tab on my home page), you know that at one point in the book, I had Quentin (first featured in Chapter 1) being kidnapped. To get him back, Raine would have to give the amulet to Mermeia's crime lord. It fit nicely with the plot, I liked it, I wrote it. The Karl subplot was one that Anne suggested that I get rid of. It was a fun subplot, there was nothing wrong with it, or as Anne said "you've just got too much good stuff for one book." So I nixed the Karl subplot and simply had Quentin kidnapped by Sarad Nukpana at the end of the book. Worked nicely -- or so I thought. Anne brought up a danged good point. While Quentin was a Raine's friend, he wasn't in that much of the book; but most importantly, the reader wouldn't have an emotional attachment to him. So when Nukpana kidnapped him to force Raine to turn over the Saghred, who would really care? Like I said, danged good point.

Anne suggested that I use Piaras in the final scene in The Ruins. The emotional attachment between Raine and Piaras had grown throughout the book; she thought of him as her little brother and had gone through a lot to protect him. Readers would have an emotional investment in Piaras and would care what happened to him. Raine's reaction to Sarad Nukpana about to sacrifice Piaras made that climactic scene much more powerful. Bingo!

And both Anne and Kristin suggested something that I know most of you would have cheered for -- more Mychael and Tam. ; )

Anne said that they were two fantastic potential love interests, and she would like to see them in the book much more -- and while I was at it, turn up the heat. ; ) She also wanted to know more about Tam (Anne's a Tam fan. *grin*) How did Raine meet Tam? What happened between them? Why aren't they together anymore? Does he have a connection to her work in elven intelligence? It was Anne who suggested that Raine take Tam up on his offer for her to hide out at his club instead of at a safe house. I thought it was a great idea, and had a lot of fun writing that scene. Like I've said, Anne, Kristin and I are all on the same page when it comes to our opinions about my books. It makes working with them an absolute joy.

Tomorrow I'll finish with Editorial Feedback (Part V) -- It's all in the details.
And I'll have some really fun news coming up, possibly tomorrow -- definitely by Monday.

Lisa