Editorial Feedback (Part V) -- It's all in the details
In today's blog, I finish a series of posts on my editor's feedback/suggestions on Magic Lost, Trouble Found. See Monday's blog for how my editor and agent's suggestions helped me cut about 100 pages from my original manuscript. And Tuesday for how to manage minor characters to minimize reader confusion. On Wednesday I talked about character crowd control. And yesterday's topic was "make the reader care."
Some of my editor Anne's suggestions for tightening up MLTF included paying attention to details that I'd overlooked or not expounded on enough. She wanted more detail on Mermeia. She didn't want pages of info dump, but judiciously placed details that would enlighten and interest the reader. She also wanted me to expand on what kind of work Raine had done for elven intelligence, saying that it was interesting and needed to be made more of.
And she wanted me to explain what happens and what Raine does when she uses magic. She wasn't going to let me get away with saying "I gathered my will and struck them" or something like that. For example in Chapter 1 of MLTF, I turned an "I struck them" cop-out explaination into Raine using her magic to lift and toss a bucket of manure on the Khrynsani shamans. More detail, much funnier. And of course since Anne is a Tam fan, she wanted me to hint at more details about Tam's past. She also wanted an explanation of how Raine's dad came to be stuck in the Saghred, and how the Khrynsani were involved. Apparently again, I glossed over that part in the first version.
But most prevalent in her comments were those little details that for readers (and agents and editors) stick out like sore thumbs. Loose threads, if you will. When I'm writing, I get too close to the story and sometimes I make assumptions. Either I think something doesn't need explaining or that I've already explained it elsewhere. I know the story; it's in my head. But just because it's in my head doesn't mean that I put it on the page. It's like writing directions, you may skip a few steps because you know them and they're obvious to you -- they're not obvious to the reader.
But include details with a light touch. Nothing's worse than reading happily along, and then running smack into a big pile of info dump. Give details, but keep it brief, and weave it into the story so the facts don't disrupt the flow.
Drop by tomorrow for the Saturday Fun Pic.
On Monday and Tuesday, I'll be unveiling some surprises I have for you. And on Tuesday, I'm going to need everyone's input on what you prefer and what you want. I'll just leave it at that. ; )
It's Friday!!
Lisa
Labels: editor feedback
posted by Lisa Shearin at
7:51 AM
6 Comments:
I have trouble with this one. I can already see the story in my head like a movie and I don't want to slow down for the details. I have to go back over the story, slowly, and pick out the parts which needs it.
Me too. I always make the mistake of assuming just because I know something that the reader knows it too.
When I critique the work of others, I often notice when the author adds little details. They make the story come alive, and are to me a sign of the joy and love the author put into the writing. And I think that carries over to the reader.
Another great post.
Thank you!!
Tam fan! lol, now I'm an Anne fan. All these problems you say that you had before the editing process... there isn't a trace of them in MLTF, I would have never known if you hadn't told us :-P
I'm a huge Anne fan, too! ; )
As to the improvements to MLTF, I can't say enough about how fabulous it is to have an agent and editor who have the same vision and passion for my books as I do. I'm one more blessed girl. ; )
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