Book blurbs and Dog & Cat Diaries
Today's blog is both educational and hilarious.
DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
Some of what's coming in the two weeks:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
Some of what's coming in the two weeks:
- How to keep a story believable
- Need inspiration? Look into your characters' pasts and air that dirty laundry. ; )
- Keep the action going
- Real dialogue for realistic characters
- Say no to "info dump"
- Start with a hook, end with a cliffhanger
- Let every scene advance the plot
- Never stop learning
posted by Lisa Shearin at
7:31 AM
5 Comments:
Thank you for sharing the link to the blurb tips! Very interesting and helpful :) The dog and cat diaries had me laughing outloud! Thanks again!
Yes Laughed hard at my desk this morning. GOing to send this round to my colleagues (Most like cats or dogs).
Also - got to the chapter in MLTF with the fairies. I was going 'aahhh, cute pretty fairies' until they showed their true nature. Thought Raine and Pieras were safe, but oh no something else is after them, and the Prince has caught up. Annoyed I can't read the next chapter because I had to go to sleep. Makes me look forward to bedtime tonight though!
Kira, you're most welcome!
Yunaleska, Yep that's my job as a writer -- keep my characters up to their eyeballs in trouble. ; )
LOL hilarious! i really do wonder sometimes if my cat thinks like that they jump on us from behind the couch.....
Awwww pretty little fairy.... Ow.
ROFL. Hilarious become I suspect it's sooo true.
And thanks for the book blurb link, too. Good stuff. :)
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