Query letter critiques

Since so many of you are now preparing query letters to go agent hunting, I thought now would be a good time so share some client query letters that were sent to my agent, Kristin Nelson (including my own). Kristin goes through the letters and says what the author did right, and what made her sign them as clients. I also disected my own letter, so I'll post a link to that as well, so you can get my reasons for writing what I did in my letter, and compare it to Kristin's impression. I hope this helps.

Click on the links below to read the letters and Kristin's feedback. The purpose of this post is to give you some examples of the types of letters that worked (aka landed agent representation).
Bear in mind, these are Kristin's impressions. With offers of representation, one agent's gold is another's so-so, and vice versa. So just because you get a rejection from one or more agents (I certainly did), that doesn't necessarily mean that there's anything wrong with your book, it might mean that you just haven't found the right agent for you. So don't let agent rejections get you down. Keep submitting those letters and sample pages.

Kristin's impression of my query letter for Thief of Souls (the original title for Magic Lost, Trouble Found)

My reasons for writing that type of query letter.

Fantasy author Shanna Swendson's query letter to Kristin (with Kristin's impressions).

Sarah Rees Brennan's query letter for the YA fantasy The Demon's Lexicon.

Courtney Milan's romance query letter for Proof by Seduction.

There are a few other letters that Kristin analyzes. Just go to her Blog page "Pub Rants" and scroll down the right nav until you reach "Agent Kristin's Queries: An inside scoop"

I hope this helps! Tomorrow, I'll be back to answering your writing-related questions.

Lisa