Editorial feedback on Bewitched & Betrayed (Part III)
Some of my editor Anne's suggestions for tightening up Bewitched & Betrayed included paying attention to details that I'd overlooked or not expounded on enough. Or what I did most of the time -- assumed that since I understood it in my head that I'd explained it fully on the page. She wanted more detail on things like how a spell works or how Raine arrives at a conclusion. She didn't want pages of info dump, but judiciously placed details that would enlighten and interest the reader.
But most prevalent in her comments were those little details that for readers (and agents and editors) stick out like sore thumbs. Loose threads, if you will. When I'm writing, I get too close to the story and sometimes I make assumptions. Either I think something doesn't need explaining or that I've already explained it elsewhere. I know the story; it's in my head. But just because it's in my head doesn't mean that I put it on the page. It's like writing directions, you may skip a few steps because you know them and they're obvious to you -- they're not obvious to the reader.
It's the same when Raine arrives at a conclusion about another character, most notably a villain's guilt for a particular act. I know the villain did it, and as a result, so does Raine, but unless I've provided the evidence earlier in the book . . . well, it's like "innocent until proven guilty." I have to make sure I've provided the proof.
But include details with a light touch. Nothing's worse than reading happily along, and then running smack into a big pile of info dump. Give details, but keep it brief, and weave it into the story so the facts don't disrupt the flow.
Lisa
I have a big surprise coming up. I hope to be able to tell you what it is on Saturday and post it on Monday.
But most prevalent in her comments were those little details that for readers (and agents and editors) stick out like sore thumbs. Loose threads, if you will. When I'm writing, I get too close to the story and sometimes I make assumptions. Either I think something doesn't need explaining or that I've already explained it elsewhere. I know the story; it's in my head. But just because it's in my head doesn't mean that I put it on the page. It's like writing directions, you may skip a few steps because you know them and they're obvious to you -- they're not obvious to the reader.
It's the same when Raine arrives at a conclusion about another character, most notably a villain's guilt for a particular act. I know the villain did it, and as a result, so does Raine, but unless I've provided the evidence earlier in the book . . . well, it's like "innocent until proven guilty." I have to make sure I've provided the proof.
But include details with a light touch. Nothing's worse than reading happily along, and then running smack into a big pile of info dump. Give details, but keep it brief, and weave it into the story so the facts don't disrupt the flow.
Lisa
I have a big surprise coming up. I hope to be able to tell you what it is on Saturday and post it on Monday.
5 Comments:
Thank you for the great blog posts on the process Lisa.
I cut & pasted all three to my permanent Writing file.
Thank you for sharing!
All the best,
@RKCharron
xoxo
You're most welcome! Glad it's helping.
Another interesting post, Lisa!
Ohh, I read a book that had a whole lot of info dump! It was a lot of explaining on the world the main character lived in, which was necessary, but it was put smack dab in the middle of a fight, or a conversation. It would go on for several pages, and you'd end up having to go back to remember what the conversation was about. Fortunately, that happens just in the first book, the rest of the series is awesome!
When writing a story, do you ever think "I know what happens here, so I don't want to write it! I want to find out what happens next!" I get like that. It's bad, I don't progress with my story, ha.
My brother is my first editor for just that reason - he catches the stuff that made sense to me but that was because it was in my head :P
{thoughtful look}
I understand that adding details to clarify things is an important step in editing a story. What I don't quite see is how it helps you shorten a manuscript. When you take it out, that's obvious, but here you mention adding details, too. {puzzled Smile}
Anne Elizabeth Baldwin
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