An author's six rules for better readings

My agent, Kristin Nelson, sent this to her authors yesterday. It's a short article by Chuck Thompson on an author's six rules for better readings. I thought it was great (and I picked up a few good ideas for my next signing), so I thought I would share it with those of you who are "pre-published" and thinking about your own future signings. ; )

On Monday, the Bewitched & Betrayed blurb will feature Raine and Vegard.

An Author's Six Rules for Better Readings

The in-store author appearance often feels more tedious than listening to someone describe the plot of a movie you haven't seen. Or, worse, one that you have.

For me, the point was driven home a few years ago at a reading by a well-known author--a Pulitzer Prize recipient--in Portland, Ore. After doling out the perfunctory crowd-pleasing tributes to Rose City literacy, the esteemed academic totem buried his nose in his book and, beginning with page one, did not come up for air for a full 45 minutes. By the end, it was difficult to know whether the stupefied crowd was in silent shock or thinking about the load of laundry they'd left in the washer at home or simply relieved when the author of one of my favorite books of all-time left the stage without bothering to do a Q&A or meet and greet.

When I began doing bookstore appearances in 2002 (promoting The 25 Best World War II Sites: Pacific Theater), I vowed never to inflict this type of eye-glazing torment on any audience, adopting at least something of the spirit of the great James Ellroy who, when signing books after a reading, once asked a friend of mine: "So, how'd you like the show?"

Even when it's just five or 10 bodies, when people make an effort to come see you it seems self-evident that you're obliged to give them, if not a full-blown show, something more entertaining than the somnambulant rumbling that characterizes so many author readings.

The same obligation extends to the bookstore itself. Bookstores enjoy hosting authors, but as a writer it's good to keep in mind that doing so means that employees have to take on extra work and sometimes extra hours to make it happen. It's deflating for them to prep for an event and put themselves out drumming up interest among the regulars, only to have a writer show up and exhibit all the gusto of a drugged rhino.

For a long time, my guiding principle at readings was: "Don't read. Ever. At all."

After fielding a number of polite complaints over the years from people who told me they'd been disappointed that I hadn't read anything at my appearances--the lit-minded public is either more masochistic or more conditioned by routine than I'd once believed--I've since amended my "no reading at readings" rule to allow for a few limited bursts of genuine reading. Nevertheless, the only slightly revised rule still sits firmly at the top of my list of:

Six Rules for a Good Author Reading

1. Don't Read for More Than Five Minutes at a Time. Ever!

For the book I'm promoting now, To Hellholes and Back, I usually spend 10 minutes giving a little behind-the-scenes background on the book, then read two segments from different chapters. The first segment takes three minutes to read. The second takes four or five, depending on the audience member dragooned into service for Rule 2.

2. Get the Crowd Involved

Q&As are nice, but events are much more lively when you find creative ways of engaging the audience.

For Hellholes I've been doing a couple different bits. Often I recruit someone from the audience (there's always an itchy extrovert at these things) to read a piece of dialogue with me from a section about haggling with street vendors in India. I have my ad hoc confederate take the part of wily merchant and read from a script with their lines in bold-face. I make sure they get the best lines--jokes often come off funnier when someone from the audience reads them for the first time.

I also occasionally ask for a die-hard soccer fanatic in the crowd to offer a rebuttal to a two-page screed in which I delicately point out that soccer is evil, stupid and anti-American, a corrosive influence on our nation's vulnerable young. Soccer fans get extremely uppity when you criticize the lamest sport in the world, so this gambit also tends to yield superb emotional results.

3. Easy on the Visuals

More than 15 travel slides and it starts to look like you're bragging, not edifying. Any PowerPoint feels like a business presentation.

4. Hand Out Gift Certificates

The first thing I do when I walk into a bookstore is buy two or three $20 gift certificates. This is a good way of conveying appreciation to the store for hosting me and a way to thank audience members brave enough to pretend to be sleazy merchants or debate soccer with me. Anyone who gets on stage with me gets a gift card.

When promoting a book called Smile When You're Lying a couple years ago, I passed out index cards and had people write questions for me on the cards. I told them to be sure to include their names on the cards for a gift-certificate drawing at the end of the Q&A. This kept people around and interested until the end of the event.

5. Cut Off the Q&A Early

Don't mistake a few questions for mass interest. Some blowhard or aspiring writer will always hang around asking questions until the lights are turned out. Most people get fidgety after 35 or 40 minutes. By that time, they expect to be getting their books signed and on their ways to the 20 other things they have to do before the night is out. If your mother never told you, I will: it's always better to leave a party 30 minutes early than 30 minutes late.

6. Don't Be Afraid to Say Something Stupid

Writers are expected to be smart, which can make getting in front of an audience intimidating. The typical writer reflex is to become overly thoughtful or cautious when speaking off the cuff. At readings, this makes them about as appealing as a damp sock.

I try to speak at readings the way I do with friends over drinks. Even if I wind up saying something dumb, audiences are generally forgiving, and it rarely makes them like my book less. If all that people wanted was what's in the book, they'd just stay home and read, so I've never seen the point of giving them more of the same when they've come out to see me.

By following these rules I've managed to have, if not always good crowds, at least a good time at readings. Particularly at bookstores that have been incredibly supportive of my books and put on great events, a few of which deserve special thanks and recognition here: Powell's Books in Portland, Ore.; Globe Corner Books in Cambridge, Mass.; Idlewild Books in New York City; Underground Books in Sacramento, Calif.; and Ben McNally Books and the Ben McNally Travellers Series in Toronto. --Chuck Thompson

Thompson is a magazine writer and author of four books, most recently To Hellholes and Back: Bribes, Lies, and the Art of Extreme Tourism (Holt).